Tag Archives: failure

Life After Defeat?… Yes! (2)

In order to have a meaningful and successful Life after Defeat, Step 1 is to separate Who YOU ARE from WHAT HAPPENED (the event).  Now the next steps:

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Photo by Simon Migaj on Pexels.com
  • Take Time to Reflect
    • Avoid far reaching decisions while you are ‘feeling blue.’
      • Choices under such conditions are likely to be
        • emotion driven,
        • ill advised, and
        • wrong.
    • Learn from the experience.
      • Who to trust
      • What to do
      • A better way
  • Keep Things in Perspective
    • The Time Perspective
      • There may be other opportunities.
      • Take the long view.
        • How will this look one, two, five, or ten years from now?
        • How will this look from the other side of eternity?
      • You may have gone through this in the past,
        • remember how you made it through then?
          • You can do it again!
    • The ‘Others’ Perspective
      • In the past your ‘win’ meant others lost!
      • Your experience may not be the best,
        • but it is not the worst either.
      • Others have survived such things
        • so can you!
    • The ‘God’ Perspective
      • He lives, he sees, he knows, he understands, and
        • he loves YOU!
      • He is in control
      • He does not make mistakes
      • All Things Are Possible with him
  • Consider Alternatives
    • Do it again!
      • Success sometimes (often) comes only after several tries
      • ‘Third time is the charm’
      • Believe!
    • Adjust Your Line of Attack (approach)
      • More and better preparation
      • Note the ‘signs’ along the way and make adjustments
    • Change Direction
      • You may not be a fighter pilot but
        • you will be able to design the planes they fly in
      • You may not qualify or be approved to be a doctor
        • but you will be an excellent nurse practitioner or
        • a medical technician, or a surgical nurse, etc.
      • You may not qualify to become an engineer
        • but you will be an excellent and successful mechanic!
      • You get the idea!

You can Do this – Let’s Do this!

Contact:  reach4himwdray@gmail.com

Life After Defeat?…Yes!

How do we recover from ‘defeat?’

  • The pregnancy test came back negative.
    • Again!
  • The lab tests came out positive:
    • you do have the disease!
  • You failed the comprehensive final exam
    • Can’t graduate.
    • Can’t advance to the next level.
    • You are not going to be the professional you always wanted to be
      • nurse, doctor, engineer, lawyer, certified accountant, analyst…
      • Not just yet!

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  • Your application for the position was turned down;
    • someone else got it because
      • they were better qualified, better suited.
  • You lost the competition;
    • It was so close, but someone else was faster, stronger, smarter, had a bit more
      • again!
  • Your significant other walked out on you;
    • you have tried everything
      • but they still decided to walk away.
    • Friends and family have given up trying to talk to him/her.
    • Counseling has not worked.
    • Prayers (many) seem not to have worked.
    • Giving selflessly to the relationship has not worked
      • either!
  • Your grown children won’t take correction.
    • They refuse to follow the law, guide their family, manage their finances, their health, and
    • trouble, like a train from a mile away is heading their way
      • you can see it, you can hear it coming!

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First,

  • Separate the event,
    • ‘What happened’
    • from WHO YOU ARE!
      • your innate, God-given value
        • unique
        • equal to that of every other person on the planet
        • possessing the same one unit of life
        • having the same number of hours in a day, days in a month, etc.
        • defined by qualities you posses
          • loyal, loving, sincere, trusting, diligent
          • gifted, patient, kind, selfless, etc. 
      • Someone who is loved
        • by God (certainly)
        • by loving family (children, parents, siblings, friends,
          • when this is the case)
        • by the right kind of person
          • when they get to know you
          • if they get to know you
          • it’s their choice not yours
          • it’s their loss if they don’t
      • Someone who can still succeed!!

Next Steps Tomorrow

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You can do it!  Let’s Do This!

Follow me on twitter, and Facebook.  Contact me at reach4himwdray@gmail.com

The Next Steps Towards Your Life Goal!

Step One – Clarify  Your Life Goal

  • Write it down in one or two sentences
  • Separate out the means to the goal from the goal itself
    • A friend said to me that if an Angel gave her one wish,
      • she would ask for ‘Money’!
      • “What will you do with it?” I asked.
        • “I will open and orphanage,
          • something I have always wanted to do!”
          • “That’s your life goal, money is only the means to it!”
            • I said.

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Step Two – Find Out All You Can About Your Life Goal

  • List everything you know about it
  • Ask people about it
    • Talk to those who are already in the industry/occupation/career etc.
    • Learn as much as you can from those who are already in the activity
      • Do an internship
      • Get a coach if possible
  • Read about it
    • The internet is your friend – you can find a lot of things there
    • Take notes
  • Take courses if they are available

Step Three – Identify Resources Required and Available to Reach Your Life Goal

  • Time, Skills, Funds, People, Information Sources, Effort (Sweat Equity)

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Step Four – Break Up Your Life Goal into Smaller Objectives

  • Immediate Objectives
    • Today, tomorrow, and for the next one month!
  • Intermediate Objectives
    • One to six months of activities
    • One semester of school
    • One season: Summer, Fall, Winter, or Spring (Dry Season or Rainy Season)
  • Medium Term Objectives
    • Annual Objectives leading towards your goal
    • One-to-two-to-three-year plans
  • Long Term Goal – Your Life Goal

Step Five – Take the First/Next Step

  • Start each day with these reminders:
    • “What little thing will I do today towards my Life Goal?”
      • That’s mine
    • “A Journey of a thousand miles starts with one step”
      • Lao Tzu
    • “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”
      • Franklin D. Roosevelt
    • “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
      •  Thomas A. Edison
    • “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” 
      • Robert F. Kennedy
    • “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”
      • St. Paul (Philippians 3.13)
    • “Take care of the details, but also keep the big picture in mind”
      • That’s mine also 
    • ‘The future is now!’
      • Public Domain (Movie, Albums, etc.)!

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You Can Do It!  Let’s Do This!!

Email me at gmail at reach4himwdray@gmail.com

Follow me on twitter, facebook, Reach Ministries:  @reach4himwdray