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Life After Defeat?… Yes! (2)

In order to have a meaningful and successful Life after Defeat, Step 1 is to separate Who YOU ARE from WHAT HAPPENED (the event).  Now the next steps:

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  • Take Time to Reflect
    • Avoid far reaching decisions while you are ‘feeling blue.’
      • Choices under such conditions are likely to be
        • emotion driven,
        • ill advised, and
        • wrong.
    • Learn from the experience.
      • Who to trust
      • What to do
      • A better way
  • Keep Things in Perspective
    • The Time Perspective
      • There may be other opportunities.
      • Take the long view.
        • How will this look one, two, five, or ten years from now?
        • How will this look from the other side of eternity?
      • You may have gone through this in the past,
        • remember how you made it through then?
          • You can do it again!
    • The ‘Others’ Perspective
      • In the past your ‘win’ meant others lost!
      • Your experience may not be the best,
        • but it is not the worst either.
      • Others have survived such things
        • so can you!
    • The ‘God’ Perspective
      • He lives, he sees, he knows, he understands, and
        • he loves YOU!
      • He is in control
      • He does not make mistakes
      • All Things Are Possible with him
  • Consider Alternatives
    • Do it again!
      • Success sometimes (often) comes only after several tries
      • ‘Third time is the charm’
      • Believe!
    • Adjust Your Line of Attack (approach)
      • More and better preparation
      • Note the ‘signs’ along the way and make adjustments
    • Change Direction
      • You may not be a fighter pilot but
        • you will be able to design the planes they fly in
      • You may not qualify or be approved to be a doctor
        • but you will be an excellent nurse practitioner or
        • a medical technician, or a surgical nurse, etc.
      • You may not qualify to become an engineer
        • but you will be an excellent and successful mechanic!
      • You get the idea!

You can Do this – Let’s Do this!

Contact:  reach4himwdray@gmail.com

Life After Defeat?…Yes!

How do we recover from ‘defeat?’

  • The pregnancy test came back negative.
    • Again!
  • The lab tests came out positive:
    • you do have the disease!
  • You failed the comprehensive final exam
    • Can’t graduate.
    • Can’t advance to the next level.
    • You are not going to be the professional you always wanted to be
      • nurse, doctor, engineer, lawyer, certified accountant, analyst…
      • Not just yet!

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  • Your application for the position was turned down;
    • someone else got it because
      • they were better qualified, better suited.
  • You lost the competition;
    • It was so close, but someone else was faster, stronger, smarter, had a bit more
      • again!
  • Your significant other walked out on you;
    • you have tried everything
      • but they still decided to walk away.
    • Friends and family have given up trying to talk to him/her.
    • Counseling has not worked.
    • Prayers (many) seem not to have worked.
    • Giving selflessly to the relationship has not worked
      • either!
  • Your grown children won’t take correction.
    • They refuse to follow the law, guide their family, manage their finances, their health, and
    • trouble, like a train from a mile away is heading their way
      • you can see it, you can hear it coming!

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First,

  • Separate the event,
    • ‘What happened’
    • from WHO YOU ARE!
      • your innate, God-given value
        • unique
        • equal to that of every other person on the planet
        • possessing the same one unit of life
        • having the same number of hours in a day, days in a month, etc.
        • defined by qualities you posses
          • loyal, loving, sincere, trusting, diligent
          • gifted, patient, kind, selfless, etc. 
      • Someone who is loved
        • by God (certainly)
        • by loving family (children, parents, siblings, friends,
          • when this is the case)
        • by the right kind of person
          • when they get to know you
          • if they get to know you
          • it’s their choice not yours
          • it’s their loss if they don’t
      • Someone who can still succeed!!

Next Steps Tomorrow

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You can do it!  Let’s Do This!

Follow me on twitter, and Facebook.  Contact me at reach4himwdray@gmail.com

The Next Steps Towards Your Life Goal!

Step One – Clarify  Your Life Goal

  • Write it down in one or two sentences
  • Separate out the means to the goal from the goal itself
    • A friend said to me that if an Angel gave her one wish,
      • she would ask for ‘Money’!
      • “What will you do with it?” I asked.
        • “I will open and orphanage,
          • something I have always wanted to do!”
          • “That’s your life goal, money is only the means to it!”
            • I said.

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Step Two – Find Out All You Can About Your Life Goal

  • List everything you know about it
  • Ask people about it
    • Talk to those who are already in the industry/occupation/career etc.
    • Learn as much as you can from those who are already in the activity
      • Do an internship
      • Get a coach if possible
  • Read about it
    • The internet is your friend – you can find a lot of things there
    • Take notes
  • Take courses if they are available

Step Three – Identify Resources Required and Available to Reach Your Life Goal

  • Time, Skills, Funds, People, Information Sources, Effort (Sweat Equity)

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Step Four – Break Up Your Life Goal into Smaller Objectives

  • Immediate Objectives
    • Today, tomorrow, and for the next one month!
  • Intermediate Objectives
    • One to six months of activities
    • One semester of school
    • One season: Summer, Fall, Winter, or Spring (Dry Season or Rainy Season)
  • Medium Term Objectives
    • Annual Objectives leading towards your goal
    • One-to-two-to-three-year plans
  • Long Term Goal – Your Life Goal

Step Five – Take the First/Next Step

  • Start each day with these reminders:
    • “What little thing will I do today towards my Life Goal?”
      • That’s mine
    • “A Journey of a thousand miles starts with one step”
      • Lao Tzu
    • “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”
      • Franklin D. Roosevelt
    • “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
      •  Thomas A. Edison
    • “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” 
      • Robert F. Kennedy
    • “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”
      • St. Paul (Philippians 3.13)
    • “Take care of the details, but also keep the big picture in mind”
      • That’s mine also 
    • ‘The future is now!’
      • Public Domain (Movie, Albums, etc.)!

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You Can Do It!  Let’s Do This!!

Email me at gmail at reach4himwdray@gmail.com

Follow me on twitter, facebook, Reach Ministries:  @reach4himwdray

How to Determine Your Life Goal!

Imagine you had a visit from an Angel and he says to you,

  • “I give you One Wish, one request,
    • and it WILL be granted!
    • Ask whatever you will, but
    • there are no do-overs,
      • you only get one chance at it!”
    • What will you ask for?

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      Photo by icon0.com on Pexels.com

When I was growing up, reading fairy tales where this happens

  • (sometimes the main character gets one/two/three wishes),
  • I would twist myself into knots trying to figure out,
    • “If that was me what will I choose, what will I ask?”
      • Will I ask for money, Power, looks, fame, friends, mom’s health…?

The question is still valid for adults; your answer will  reveal

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  • Your priorities
  • Your greatest limitation
  • Your greatest obstacle
  • Your greatest desire
  • Your character
  • Where you want to be
  • Your dream life,
    • something that relates to your Life Goal!

So take the time and try to answer that question:

  • What is your single most important (above all else) wish right now?
  • Write down your answer.
    • Then start planning your life around that answer.
    • Fairy tales are just that: Tales!
    • But God working through you can make your dreams come true

Two types of ‘miracles’!

  • Explosive, one of kind,  and all at once miracle!
    • (these are statistically very rare).
    • The more likely one is,
  • Slow, over time, underlying energy, focus, invincible, invisible,
    • unrelenting divine guidance;
    • unplanned and unexpected favor, opportunities, contacts,
    • as you seemingly move by your own planning, and resourcefulness
      • towards your Goal.

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Contact me at reach4himwdray@gmail.com if you have a question or for more personal encouragement, guidance, and prayer.  Place your name on my prayer list.

Follow me on twitter, and facebook @reach4himwdray; A YouTube Channel is also on the way.  Feel free to share this post.  Thank You.

So Let’s Do this!  You can Do it!!

How to Start and Keep Conversations Going!

Is that you in the waiting room?

  • On the train, in a room full of people you do not know?
  • Wanting to start a conversation
    • with a total stranger
    • but don’t know how?
  • Here is a simple guide.

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    Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

The key is to focus on other people

  • Focus not on yourself;
    • your fears, (in the moment)
    • your feelings,
    • your dreams,
    • how you look or sound,
    • your problems, rather
    • focus on their fears, problems, dreams, feelings….
  • Be truly interested in them!
  • Think:  “How can I make their world just a little better?”
  • Put them at ease:
    • smile,

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    • introduce yourself;
    • be open about yourself too;
    • authentic compliments go a long way;
    • let them invite you into ‘their space’, and
    • let them be in charge of ‘their space’;
    • ask questions and then – – – – – listen!

What if they do not want to talk?

  • That’s alright.
  • You only wanted to be a ‘friend’.
  • If it was all about them, then
    • it’s their loss.
  • You will be surprised
    • how many people wants someone to listen to them
    • how easy it really is,
      • once you make it about the other person!

Check back tomorrow for some examples of conversation starters!

Love, Finding Nemo 3 – for Gals

Finding Love!

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  • Finding Nemo 3 – for gals,
    • is like selling your house.
      • Location: where you are;
        • What will never change about you.
        • Deal with bitterness and other skeletons!
        • Develop inner beauty!
          • Qualities that never change!
      • Marketing:
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        • Interact widely, appropriately.
        • Take an interest in and
          • do stuff for others.
      • ‘Staging’: Put ‘your best foot (look) forward.’
        • Some styling, (appropriate fashion) for the times will help.
        • You are a beautiful flower;
          • let it show!
          • ‘Curb Appeal’
            • makes buyers want to see what’s inside!
      • Remember: Guys still
        • look for ‘a good mom’,
        • want to have a stable ‘home front’
          • not a war zone;

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        • want to make ‘a good deal’,
          • value not a cheap knockoff.
      • Be willing to accept lower but reasonable ‘offers’.
        • if you want your ‘house’ to sell.
  • And what if your ‘house’ does not sell?
    • Continue to ‘list’ it, but
    • like it and
    • love it!
    • Be content to live in it!
    • Be at peace with it.
    • Make it a ‘home’
      • where God is welcome to stay
        • anytime and all the time!

Opportunities Everywhere!

  • You: “Lack of Self-Esteem”
    • (“Who am I?”)
    • God: “Not you;
      • Me: Who AM I? 
      • I AM is with You”
      • ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
  • You: “What do I know?”
    • (“What is your name”)
    • God: “Not ‘what,’ but
      • WHO you know:
        • the ‘I AM’
      • ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
  • You:  “I am not a leader”
    • (“They will not believe me”)
    • God:  “What is that in your hand?”
      • “At my word
        • see what I can do with it
          • through you!”
      • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE!
  • You: “I don’t have the skills”
    • (“I can’t speak in public!”)
    • God:
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      • “I made the mouth,”
      • here is Aaron for you”
      • YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE
      • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE!
  • You:  “I can’t do it”
    • (“Please, send someone else, Not me!”)
    • God: “You are out of excuses, this is just plain disobedience now”
    • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE!

Sounds familiar?

  • Moses (Exodus 3-4)
    • humbled the gods of Egypt,
    • gave the ten commandments,
    • led at least 1.5 million people out of Egypt, and
    • walked through the red sea
      • on dry land
    • He led a nation for 40 years
      • in the desert!!
      • Suppressed a rebellion in the ranks,
      •  meeting needs,
      • administering justice,
      • administering disaster/food relief,
      • writing laws, and
      • fighting foreign armies

The key:

  • “What is that in your hand?”
    • A staff,
    • A dry stick,
    • Good only for leaning upon, OR
    • The symbol of DIVINE authority
    • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE!!
      • There is a ‘staff’ in your hand
      • right next to you!
      • available to you:
        • time
        • health
        • talent and abilities
        • family resources
        • free information
        • friends, associates, co-workers, bosses, church, pastor, club, professor, classmates, neighbor etc. etc.
        • community resources
      • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE
    • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE
  • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE
  • OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE

OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE!!!!