In order to have a meaningful and successful Life after Defeat, Step 1 is to separate Who YOU ARE from WHAT HAPPENED (the event). Now the next steps:
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Take Time to Reflect
Avoid far reaching decisions while you are ‘feeling blue.’
Choices under such conditions are likely to be
emotion driven,
ill advised, and
wrong.
Learn from the experience.
Who to trust
What to do
A better way
Keep Things in Perspective
The Time Perspective
There may be other opportunities.
Take the long view.
How will this look one, two, five, or ten years from now?
How will this look from the other side of eternity?
You may have gone through this in the past,
remember how you made it through then?
The ‘Others’ Perspective
In the past your ‘win’ meant others lost!
Your experience may not be the best,
but it is not the worst either.
Others have survived such things
The ‘God’ Perspective
He lives, he sees, he knows, he understands, and
He is in control
He does not make mistakes
All Things Are Possible with him
Consider Alternatives
Do it again!
Success sometimes (often) comes only after several tries
‘Third time is the charm’ Believe!
Adjust Your Line of Attack (approach)
More and better preparation
Note the ‘signs’ along the way and make adjustments
Change Direction
You may not be a fighter pilot but
you will be able to design the planes they fly in
You may not qualify or be approved to be a doctor
but you will be an excellent nurse practitioner or
a medical technician, or a surgical nurse, etc.
You may not qualify to become an engineer
but you will be an excellent and successful mechanic!
You get the idea!
You can Do this – Let’s Do this!
Contact: reach4himwdray@gmail.com
How do we recover from ‘defeat?’
The pregnancy test came back negative.
The lab tests came out positive:
You failed the comprehensive final exam
Can’t graduate.
Can’t advance to the next level.
You are not going to be the professional you always wanted to be
nurse, doctor, engineer, lawyer, certified accountant, analyst…
Not just yet!
Your application for the position was turned down;
someone else got it because
they were better qualified, better suited.
You lost the competition;
It was so close, but someone else was faster, stronger, smarter, had a bit more
Your significant other walked out on you;
you have tried everything
but they still decided to walk away.
Friends and family have given up trying to talk to him/her.
Counseling has not worked.
Prayers (many) seem not to have worked.
Giving selflessly to the relationship has not worked
Your grown children won’t take correction.
They refuse to follow the law, guide their family, manage their finances, their health, and
trouble, like a train from a mile away is heading their way
you can see it, you can hear it coming!
First,
Separate the event,
‘What happened’ from WHO YOU ARE!
your innate, God-given value
unique
equal to that of every other person on the planet
possessing the same one unit of life
having the same number of hours in a day, days in a month, etc.
defined by qualities you posses
loyal, loving, sincere, trusting, diligent
gifted, patient, kind, selfless, etc.
Someone who is loved
by God (certainly)
by loving family (children, parents, siblings, friends,
by the right kind of person
when they get to know you
if they get to know you
it’s their choice not yours
it’s their loss if they don’t
Someone who can still succeed!!
Next Steps Tomorrow
You can do it! Let’s Do This!
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Step One – Clarify Your Life Goal
Write it down in one or two sentences Separate out the means to the goal from the goal itself
A friend said to me that if an Angel gave her one wish,
she would ask for ‘Money’!
“What will you do with it?” I asked.
“I will open and orphanage,
something I have always wanted to do!” “That’s your life goal, money is only the means to it!”
Step Two – Find Out All You Can About Your Life Goal
List everything you know about it Ask people about it
Talk to those who are already in the industry/occupation/career etc.
Learn as much as you can from those who are already in the activity
Do an internship
Get a coach if possible
Read about it
The internet is your friend – you can find a lot of things there
Take notes
Take courses if they are available
Step Three – Identify Resources Required and Available to Reach Your Life Goal
Time, Skills, Funds, People, Information Sources, Effort (Sweat Equity)
Step Four – Break Up Your Life Goal into Smaller Objectives
Immediate Objectives
Today, tomorrow, and for the next one month!
Intermediate Objectives
One to six months of activities
One semester of school
One season: Summer, Fall, Winter, or Spring (Dry Season or Rainy Season)
Medium Term Objectives
Annual Objectives leading towards your goal
One-to-two-to-three-year plans
Long Term Goal – Your Life Goal
Step Five – Take the First/Next Step
Start each day with these reminders:
“What little thing will I do today towards my Life Goal?” “A Journey of a thousand miles starts with one step” “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”
St. Paul (Philippians 3.13)
“Take care of the details, but also keep the big picture in mind” ‘The future is now!’
Public Domain (Movie, Albums, etc.)!
You Can Do It! Let’s Do This!!
Email me at gmail at reach4himwdray@gmail.com
Follow me on twitter , facebook , Reach Ministries: @reach4himwdray
Imagine you had a visit from an Angel and he says to you,
“I give you One Wish , one request,
When I was growing up, reading fairy tales where this happens
(sometimes the main character gets one/two/three wishes),
I would twist myself into knots trying to figure out,
“If that was me what will I choose, what will I ask?”
Will I ask for money, Power, looks, fame, friends, mom’s health…?
The question is still valid for adults; your answer will reveal
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Your priorities
Your greatest limitation
Your greatest obstacle
Your greatest desire
Your character
Where you want to be
Your dream life,
something that relates to your Life Goal!
So take the time and try to answer that question:
What is your single most important (above all else) wish right now?
Write down your answer.
Then start planning your life around that answer.
Fairy tales are just that: Tales!
But God working through you can make your dreams come true
Two types of ‘miracles’!
Explosive , one of kind, and all at once miracle!
(these are statistically very rare).
The more likely one is,
Slow, over time, underlying energy, focus, invincible, invisible,
unrelenting divine guidance;
unplanned and unexpected favor, opportunities, contacts,
as you seemingly move by your own planning, and resourcefulness
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Contact me at reach4himwdray@gmail.com if you have a question or for more personal encouragement, guidance, and prayer. Place your name on my prayer list.
Follow me on twitter , and facebook @reach4himwdray; A YouTube Channel is also on the way. Feel free to share this post. Thank You.
So Let’s Do this! You can Do it!!
Look Upward:
Pour your heart out to God.
Yes, it is okay to complain, berate, weep, and protest to God
about your feelings and circumstances;
if you doubt that just read the Book of Job;
he (God) can handle criticism, he wears very big shoes.
Praise him, by faith:
Praise is very good therapy!
Count your blessings.
I recommend it even when you are ‘not feeling it’!
Look Outward:
Find a good shoulder to cry on:
Your spouse, a close sibling, your BFF, and
A good counselor.
Reach out for the occasional emotional relief Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com
‘cookie’ or ice cream, music, or good movie
(use with caution and sparingly)
(this is only a temporary relief)
(I most definitely don’t recommend alcohol or any other type of ‘Drug’)
AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look Forward:
Life goes on
Shift gears into the ‘Problem Solving Mode’
Learn from the past but do not live in it!
Can’t drive by looking at the rear-view mirror always!
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Contact: reach4himwdray@gmail.com
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We are Designed by God to Reach out to Him and to Others; To Reach Out for Love and Towards our Dreams!
Reach!! 