Life After Defeat?… Yes! (2)

In order to have a meaningful and successful Life after Defeat, Step 1 is to separate Who YOU ARE from WHAT HAPPENED (the event).  Now the next steps:

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  • Take Time to Reflect
    • Avoid far reaching decisions while you are ‘feeling blue.’
      • Choices under such conditions are likely to be
        • emotion driven,
        • ill advised, and
        • wrong.
    • Learn from the experience.
      • Who to trust
      • What to do
      • A better way
  • Keep Things in Perspective
    • The Time Perspective
      • There may be other opportunities.
      • Take the long view.
        • How will this look one, two, five, or ten years from now?
        • How will this look from the other side of eternity?
      • You may have gone through this in the past,
        • remember how you made it through then?
          • You can do it again!
    • The ‘Others’ Perspective
      • In the past your ‘win’ meant others lost!
      • Your experience may not be the best,
        • but it is not the worst either.
      • Others have survived such things
        • so can you!
    • The ‘God’ Perspective
      • He lives, he sees, he knows, he understands, and
        • he loves YOU!
      • He is in control
      • He does not make mistakes
      • All Things Are Possible with him
  • Consider Alternatives
    • Do it again!
      • Success sometimes (often) comes only after several tries
      • ‘Third time is the charm’
      • Believe!
    • Adjust Your Line of Attack (approach)
      • More and better preparation
      • Note the ‘signs’ along the way and make adjustments
    • Change Direction
      • You may not be a fighter pilot but
        • you will be able to design the planes they fly in
      • You may not qualify or be approved to be a doctor
        • but you will be an excellent nurse practitioner or
        • a medical technician, or a surgical nurse, etc.
      • You may not qualify to become an engineer
        • but you will be an excellent and successful mechanic!
      • You get the idea!

You can Do this – Let’s Do this!

Contact:  reach4himwdray@gmail.com

Life After Defeat?…Yes!

How do we recover from ‘defeat?’

  • The pregnancy test came back negative.
    • Again!
  • The lab tests came out positive:
    • you do have the disease!
  • You failed the comprehensive final exam
    • Can’t graduate.
    • Can’t advance to the next level.
    • You are not going to be the professional you always wanted to be
      • nurse, doctor, engineer, lawyer, certified accountant, analyst…
      • Not just yet!

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  • Your application for the position was turned down;
    • someone else got it because
      • they were better qualified, better suited.
  • You lost the competition;
    • It was so close, but someone else was faster, stronger, smarter, had a bit more
      • again!
  • Your significant other walked out on you;
    • you have tried everything
      • but they still decided to walk away.
    • Friends and family have given up trying to talk to him/her.
    • Counseling has not worked.
    • Prayers (many) seem not to have worked.
    • Giving selflessly to the relationship has not worked
      • either!
  • Your grown children won’t take correction.
    • They refuse to follow the law, guide their family, manage their finances, their health, and
    • trouble, like a train from a mile away is heading their way
      • you can see it, you can hear it coming!

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First,

  • Separate the event,
    • ‘What happened’
    • from WHO YOU ARE!
      • your innate, God-given value
        • unique
        • equal to that of every other person on the planet
        • possessing the same one unit of life
        • having the same number of hours in a day, days in a month, etc.
        • defined by qualities you posses
          • loyal, loving, sincere, trusting, diligent
          • gifted, patient, kind, selfless, etc. 
      • Someone who is loved
        • by God (certainly)
        • by loving family (children, parents, siblings, friends,
          • when this is the case)
        • by the right kind of person
          • when they get to know you
          • if they get to know you
          • it’s their choice not yours
          • it’s their loss if they don’t
      • Someone who can still succeed!!

Next Steps Tomorrow

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You can do it!  Let’s Do This!

Follow me on twitter, and Facebook.  Contact me at reach4himwdray@gmail.com

The Next Steps Towards Your Life Goal!

Step One – Clarify  Your Life Goal

  • Write it down in one or two sentences
  • Separate out the means to the goal from the goal itself
    • A friend said to me that if an Angel gave her one wish,
      • she would ask for ‘Money’!
      • “What will you do with it?” I asked.
        • “I will open and orphanage,
          • something I have always wanted to do!”
          • “That’s your life goal, money is only the means to it!”
            • I said.

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Step Two – Find Out All You Can About Your Life Goal

  • List everything you know about it
  • Ask people about it
    • Talk to those who are already in the industry/occupation/career etc.
    • Learn as much as you can from those who are already in the activity
      • Do an internship
      • Get a coach if possible
  • Read about it
    • The internet is your friend – you can find a lot of things there
    • Take notes
  • Take courses if they are available

Step Three – Identify Resources Required and Available to Reach Your Life Goal

  • Time, Skills, Funds, People, Information Sources, Effort (Sweat Equity)

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Step Four – Break Up Your Life Goal into Smaller Objectives

  • Immediate Objectives
    • Today, tomorrow, and for the next one month!
  • Intermediate Objectives
    • One to six months of activities
    • One semester of school
    • One season: Summer, Fall, Winter, or Spring (Dry Season or Rainy Season)
  • Medium Term Objectives
    • Annual Objectives leading towards your goal
    • One-to-two-to-three-year plans
  • Long Term Goal – Your Life Goal

Step Five – Take the First/Next Step

  • Start each day with these reminders:
    • “What little thing will I do today towards my Life Goal?”
      • That’s mine
    • “A Journey of a thousand miles starts with one step”
      • Lao Tzu
    • “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”
      • Franklin D. Roosevelt
    • “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
      •  Thomas A. Edison
    • “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” 
      • Robert F. Kennedy
    • “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead”
      • St. Paul (Philippians 3.13)
    • “Take care of the details, but also keep the big picture in mind”
      • That’s mine also 
    • ‘The future is now!’
      • Public Domain (Movie, Albums, etc.)!

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You Can Do It!  Let’s Do This!!

Email me at gmail at reach4himwdray@gmail.com

Follow me on twitter, facebook, Reach Ministries:  @reach4himwdray

How to Determine Your Life Goal!

Imagine you had a visit from an Angel and he says to you,

  • “I give you One Wish, one request,
    • and it WILL be granted!
    • Ask whatever you will, but
    • there are no do-overs,
      • you only get one chance at it!”
    • What will you ask for?

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When I was growing up, reading fairy tales where this happens

  • (sometimes the main character gets one/two/three wishes),
  • I would twist myself into knots trying to figure out,
    • “If that was me what will I choose, what will I ask?”
      • Will I ask for money, Power, looks, fame, friends, mom’s health…?

The question is still valid for adults; your answer will  reveal

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  • Your priorities
  • Your greatest limitation
  • Your greatest obstacle
  • Your greatest desire
  • Your character
  • Where you want to be
  • Your dream life,
    • something that relates to your Life Goal!

So take the time and try to answer that question:

  • What is your single most important (above all else) wish right now?
  • Write down your answer.
    • Then start planning your life around that answer.
    • Fairy tales are just that: Tales!
    • But God working through you can make your dreams come true

Two types of ‘miracles’!

  • Explosive, one of kind,  and all at once miracle!
    • (these are statistically very rare).
    • The more likely one is,
  • Slow, over time, underlying energy, focus, invincible, invisible,
    • unrelenting divine guidance;
    • unplanned and unexpected favor, opportunities, contacts,
    • as you seemingly move by your own planning, and resourcefulness
      • towards your Goal.

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Contact me at reach4himwdray@gmail.com if you have a question or for more personal encouragement, guidance, and prayer.  Place your name on my prayer list.

Follow me on twitter, and facebook @reach4himwdray; A YouTube Channel is also on the way.  Feel free to share this post.  Thank You.

So Let’s Do this!  You can Do it!!

Disappointed, Discouraged, and/or Depressed?

  • Look Upward:

    • Pour your heart out to God.adventure-aircraft-colorful-2376268.jpg

      • Yes, it is okay to complain, berate, weep, and protest to God
        • about your feelings and circumstances;
        • if you doubt that just read the Book of Job;
        • he (God) can handle criticism, he wears very big shoes.
    • Praise him, by faith:

      • Praise is very good therapy!
      • Count your blessings.
      • I recommend it even when you are ‘not feeling it’!
  • Look Outward:

    • Find a good shoulder to cry on:

      • Your spouse, a close sibling, your BFF, and
      • A good counselor.
    • Reach out for the occasional emotional relief

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      • ‘cookie’ or ice cream, music, or good movie
      • (use with caution and sparingly)
      • (this is only a temporary relief)
      • (I most definitely don’t recommend alcohol or any other type of ‘Drug’)
        • AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Look Forward:

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Contact: reach4himwdray@gmail.com

[Very] Basic Steps for Managing Your Money!

TOO MANY ‘days left at the end of your money’;  the next pay check?  Here are simple steps to help you manage your money!

  1. Know Your Spending Pattern!
    1. Track your every penny for 2-3 months.
    2. Write it down, use Excel.
      1. Make a list.
      2. Write down the Date, Place, Description, Amount,
        1. for every penny you spend!!!
        2. Who says good things come cheap?
  2. Plan Your Spending
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    1. Draw from ‘1’ above.
    2. Make a budget.
      1. This is a ‘plan for spending’ based on your income.
      2. Use approximate numbers (averages).
      3. Estimate regular expenses at the higher end (Be realistic!).
  3. Monitor Your Spending Pattern
    1. There are many apps that do this.
    2. Most likely your Bank can also do it for you,
      1. if you do not mind someone else tracking your finances, and
      2. if you do not mind signing up ‘for free’
        1. (nothing is truly free) or,
      3. you can make your own Excel budget.
      4. Excel has many templates for household and other types of budgets.
        1. Here is one that I use:
          1. By George Hayward – Household Budget Template
  4. Keep to Your Plan (Your Budget!)
    1. Automate Regular Expenses:
      1. tithe (10%),
      2. bills, and

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      3. savings and investments (10%).
      4. It will help your credit score.
    2. Keep Spontaneous Purchases to a minimum.
      1. They are the main source of going over budget.
      2. This includes ‘eating out’ on the spur of the moment.
  5. Make a Priority List for Spending, Mine: 
    1. tithe,
    2. bills and obligations,
    3. necessities (health, food, etc.),
    4. emergency Funds saving,
      1. (six months worth of regular monthly expenses)
    5. savings and investments, and
    6. leisure, and other discretionary spending.
  6. Don’t hold Credit Card Balances
    1. The interest rate is too high (often 10 – 25%) on balances.
    2. Even when you make minimum payments,
      1. your balance is still increasing and
      2. your outstanding it will double in almost every 4-7 years!
  7. Learn How to Invest and Grow Your Wealth – More on that later!

AND YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY!

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YOU CAN DO THIS!

LET’S DO THIS!

 

Sample Conversation Starters!!

Continuing from the last Post

Here are some conversation starters for you:

  • (FIRST!!!!!:  Be safe, Be smart, Be Wise!)
  • “Long day huh …how has it been?”
  • “That’s a nice bag/t-shirt/name/car/hair style/color…”  followed by,
  • (with a warm smile!!!)
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    “I like it, looks expensive, bet you got a good deal on it right?”

  • “Is that your favorite color?”
    • I  once asked a lady (a stranger) who had “Queen” on her t-shirt:
      • “What does that say?  Are you the ‘queen’?”
        • “You must have everything you need!”
        • And the conversation went on from there!
        • By the end of the conversation, I met her family, and a new and very important contact  for my ministry!
  • “I like (model of car), what has been your experience since you got it?”
  • “Is that your favorite, what do you like about it?”

The key is to remember to keep the focus on the other persons in a genuine way.

Some more pointers:  Remember, it’s not about you it’s all about them,

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  • Yes, them, that total stranger!
  • People want to know you care
  • People want someone to talk to and who will listen
    • Someone I know who works retail and says
      • it is amazing how customers open up and talk
        • about their lives
          • when they know they have a listening ear!
  • Be interested in them in a non-threatening and genuine way
  • Ask open ended questions
    • Questions that start with “What”, “How” “Where” etc.
    • Questions that allow the person to express themselves
      • Not just answer with a “yes” or “no”.
  • If someone has a name tag on
    • say at the cash register, a bank teller, an attendant, or a wait staff
    • call them by their name and
      • smile, look them in the eye as you speak to them!
  • As always, be safe!
  • Lets’s do this!!!
  • You can do it!
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